Attempt 1: In May 2025, I sprained my hip muscle. In July 2025, it became a chronic. Now I’m doing exercises from YouTube “physical therapists” to try to rehabilitate my leg. Your donation helps me go to a doctor and jump for the numbers. I would like that.

Attempt 2: Thank you. Love you! (say it back! in cash form)

Attempt 3: All funds go toward the NeoFuturist attempt at saying Fuck You! in as many varied ways to the current administration.

Attempt 4: Please donate?

Attempt 5: Your donation helps keep the lights on. And helps us keep creating art that is honest and true and art that asks the audience to be present with us. I just think that’s really neat and worth keeping around.

Attempt 6: Donating will put a permanent end to racism. (FACT, VERIFIED)

Attempt 7: I’m sorry that wasn’t true. We don’t tell lies here. Wouldn’t it have been great if it were true?

Attempt 8: The truth is I really want you to donate because before I joined the ensemble I was going to move out of Chicago, and now I’m not.

Attempt 9+10: $